The doors were closing fast and I felt like the diamond thief running for steel gateway before they lock me in, taking a chance of being cut in half! There only seemed to be about 3 inches left before they were fully closed. Somehow Susan and I managed to glide through and into safety's loving arms! Ahhhh...the life-saving scent of fresh car exhaust! Whew! That was close. But that's not the end of it.
I walk inside the house just as the phone's ringing. I pick it up and and say hello. That's when I hear someone farting loudly and with great verve followed by a cheerful "Hello?" I knew who it was because he does this from time to time. I asked, "<insert name here>, did you just fart on the phone?" "Yeah! Ha ha ha ha ha!"
I'm trying to figure out the life lesson here. Why is god doing this to me? Being that this is the first day of November this is how my month started, I figure that the rest of the month can only go upwards from here! The lesson:
This is going to be a good month!
For more information on farts, visit Facts on Farts.
For fart audio, click here.
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2 comments:
Elevators aren't as bad as grocery stores. The other day my wife and I were caught in the middle of a very crowded aisle. I'm a gassy one and I saw no escape to relieve the pressure I felt in my abdomen. The pressure mounted and the crowd refused to let me through. I thought "ok if you won't let me through, then you'll all have to put up with the gangreness stench your about to get full force. Trying to stiffle the sound, I let go but the flatulation announced my need for relief. I pushed my cart around a corner as quickly as I could only to meet a very well dressed lady headon.
Needless to say I was caught forward and aft.
I believe what you did would be called "crop dusting."
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