Communication Breakdown - The new math

It's conversations like this that could help make me the poster boy for anti-anxiety medications one day.

Upon my visit to the hospital to see my father earlier today, the staff moved him to another room in another "building." You'll see why I put the word building in quotes after you read the exchange between the security guard and me.

Me: Can you tell me where they moved my father?

Him: Security Guard: Yes, he's in room 5562. It's in the other building, the north tower, between the west and east towers. You're in the east tower now.

Me: I didn't realize there was a third building. How do I get there?

Him: We only have two buildings sir. You're in the east tower. It's the building between the west and east.

Me: West, east and north - that would make three buildings. Anyway, how do I get there?

Him: No sir, we only have an east and west tower.

Me: Ok, east and west - that's two. You said he's in the north, the third building, can you just tell me how to find him?

Pause: The valet guy overhears this. He's squinting his eyes and scratching his head as if he hears someone saying that 1+1+1=2. Me? I'm feeling like I just asked this guy how to get to the floor 7 1/2 at LesterCorp.
(See: "Being John Malkovich")

Him: Go down the hallway, follow the signs that say "West Tower" - when you see the elevator, take it to the 2nd floor.

Me: Great, and that's the north tower? (Asking again because I need closure!)

Him: Yes.

Me: Same building as the east tower? (Am I a glutton for punishment?)

Him: No sir, it's the north tower.

Me: Same building as the west tower? (I had to ask. Wouldn't you?)

Him: Sir, it's the NORTH tower.

Me: (Deep sigh) Thanks for the directions. I just need to know (God, please kill me right now)...I know there's an east tower and a west tower. You're saying that there's another separate building that is called the north tower?

Him: Yes, the north tower between the east and west.

Me: Uh-huh. Ok. So if I fly a helicopter over this hospital, I'll find that the north tower is one of three buildings that makes up this entire hospital complex? (Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?!)

Him: Probably. Yeah, you might.

Me: I might. (Feeling defeated). Thanks. (Why do I feel so drained?)