"El Mirage" & "Caravans" Eros Remixes (mp3s)

I uploaded El Mirage Eros Remix (right-click to download) for you to check out. It was created for the critcally acclaimed HBO series, Real Sex. I submitted two different tracks for the scenes they described to me, and they picked one of the two.


The track they didn't pick was Caravans Eros Remix which is a remixed section of the original tune.


WARNING: These tracks could be considered "adult themed" in nature due to amorous sounds that are related to female pleasure (moaning, giggling, cooing). Please listen at your own discretion.

Here are two 2-min. MP3 samples of the orginal versions: El Mirage, Caravans

My Newest Toy - Nord Electro 2

Recently, I attained an endorsment from Nord and picked up this hot little beauty from them - the Electro 2 Seventy Three! This bad-ass little puppy is AWESOME to play!

New Appearances with City Beat

I'll be doing a string of dates playing some soulful covers with my buddy Jonny Walker and his band City Beat. See dates below. Please call clubs for start times as they are subject to change.

Saturday Nov. 5 - Martini Blues (3 sets)
5874 Edinger Avenue, Huntington Beach, CA 92649, (714) 840-2129

*Tuesday Nov. 8 - B.B. Kings Universal City Walk (1 set)
1000 Universal Center Drive, Suite 222, Universal City, CA 91608, (818-622-5464)

Saturday Nov. 19 - B.B. Kings Universal City Walk (1 set)
1000 Universal Center Drive, Suite 222, Universal City, CA 91608, (818-622-5464)


*The Nov. 8th set will be following B.B. King's performance in celebration of his 80th birthday!

Rock & Roll Bitch Slapped

I just found out today that on October 18th the Rolling Stones debuted their Streets of Love video on the soap opera Days of our Lives. Yes, those Rolling Stones; yes, that Days of Our Lives. Did you hear that?! What happened to Rock & Roll?! I thought it would never die? Maybe it should've had a mercy killing to spare it the emabarrassment of the Stones whoring it out and giving it this humongous, burning bitch slap.

Does it really bother me that much? Naw...I just wanted to hear myself fire off a good purist-rock-&-roll rant. Don't Mick and Keith look cute? Cheers!

The Big Boom

I woke up to the sound of an explosion the other day. Then I heard sirens and went outside to find two police cars and three fire trucks in front of our building. One of the cops said a transformer exploded. Then the Dept. of Water and Power showed up so I asked the grizzly looking Chicago-Bears-fan looking employee if a transformer blew. This is exactly what he said:
"No. A squirrel got into something."
Me: "A squirrel got into something? Like what?"
Grizzly Guy: "Um, just a squirrel."
Me: "It was loud man. It sounded like dynamite."
Grizzly Guy turning to his supervisor confused and muttering: "Hey, he said it was loud."
Cool-Hand Supervisor: "Uh, yeah. whisper, whisper, whisper."

I didn't know a squirrel "going into something" or a transformer blowing up could be be top secret in this city. Neither of them answered any questions from the young Glendale Newspress babe that was asking them what had happened. It was probably the closest either of these guys had been to a good-looking woman in decades. Grizzly Guy pointed to Cool-Hand Supervisor and walked away. Cool-Hand put up his finger as if to say "one second, this is really important," put the walkie-talkie about 6 inches from his ear and just stood there listening to dead air, waiting for something...probably waiting to be "saved by the bell." After a minute of dead air, I think he became embarrassed, turned and walked away without acknowledging her. But he was Cool-Hand Supervisor, so he showed no emotion, like the Terminator. Oh the drama! I looked at her and laughed. She wasn't amused. She wanted answers and she wanted them now! Another exciting day in Glendale!

The Tortilla Chip Conspiracy

I don't make it a habit of the little things in life torturing me, but this penetrated me to my inner core. Have any of you ever opened a bag of tortilla chips only to find that most of the chips have broken into crumbs that are so small, you might as well scoop up the salsa with your bare hand? In the recent past, the bigger pieces were the majority of the bag. The small pieces would fall to the bottom as the bigger pieces stayed on top, the same way the unpopped kernals of corn are at the bottom of a bowl of popcorn. The good pieces used to be easy to get to. But things have changed my friends. There is pure evil that looms behind the veil of innocence!

What the hell am I talking about? Here's the scenario: I make a killer batch of fresh salsa and open up a bag of blue corn tortilla chips. You know...the ones that are supposed to be triangular in shape. The first 10 or 15 chips were magnificent! Each of them was the "perfect chip." It was at chip #16 that I realized, I was deceived! So I opened up a bag of white corn tortilla chips and found the same thing!! Is this a frigin' conspiracy? The rest of each bag was...well...here, let me show you:


How am I supposed to dip these little crumbs into my salsa and get enough of the salsa on there to nourish my aging body? There is no way to get a healthy portion of my pico de gallo on these meager things!


Is this a plot from the evil chip corporations to try and force me to buy more tortilla chips? Are they in cahoots with the hot dog and hot dog bun companies? They fill the bags of chips up with nitrogen supposedly to keep the chips fresh and give them a longer shelf life (I watch a lot of Food Network and Discovery Channel). This should also protect them, right? I don't know what's going on in the back rooms of these companies, but I have a feeling they've secretly hired someone like Jonas, the 560 lb. Lithuanian to go into the "research and development" room and start jumping on 3/4 of the chips as the President of the company laughs like Dr. Evil while he sees his sinister vision coming to fruition right before his very eyes. Look at these pathetic little pieces:


But I did not despair. There's a solution to every obstacle, right? So I pour the rest of my stinkin', measly, miserable, puny, pitiful midget chips right into my bowl of salsa, get out a spoon, and have a salsa fresca "cereal" while watching the undefeated Indianapolis Colts come from 17 points behind to beat the St. Louis Rams by 17 points (45-28)! Life is good.

Communication Breakdown

I flashed back to a conversation I had with a girlfriend circa 1985. The windows of the car were rolled all the way down while we were driving on the freeway. We were about to kill each other and ended up laughing our butts off. Here's how it went:

Me: What was the name of Ken's girlfriend at the party Saturday night?

Her: When?

Me: Last Saturday at the party?

Her: When?

Me: Are you kidding me?!...the party Saturday night!

Her: (screaming): WHEN!

Me (yelling back, getting pissed off): WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!?! DID YOU ALREADY FORGET THE BANQUET WE WERE AT A FEW NIGHTS AGO?!?!?!

Her (raging with full volume): GWEN!! GWEN!! HER NAME IS GWEN!! MY GOD!! [insert laughing while shaking her head]

Me: Oh.

A Happy Thought

A thought occured to me as I was at the store walking to the deli to buy sliced meat:

Every day that I wake up I am one day closer to my own death.

And with that thought in mind, I'm going to leave now and go to a music store in Hollywood and check out a Nord Electro 2 keyboard, one of the coolest keyboards around.

The Compressed Multi-Cultural Experience

I was at the grocery store earlier where my purchase included Persian cucumbers, Fuji Apples and some Asian pears. I paid for it with American money as a Mexican employee put it in a plastic bag for me which was made in China.

Then I got into my Japanese car with my Armenian wife and drove it back to my condominium that we're renting from a Korean family. U2, a band from Ireland was playing on the CD player. They recorded most of their album in London. The computer that I'm typing on right now sits on a desk that I bought from Ikea, a company based in Sweden.