Dumbest Advertisement of all Time

There's a commercial running on television right now that has to be the most asinine ad campaign of all time (or maybe not since I'm here mentioning it). It's a beer commercial with the tag line "Stay thirsty my friends." Stay thirsty? I can stay thirsty, no problem...by not drinking your piss-water beer.

Here are some more ad campaigns by the same advertising company:

Fidelity Investments: Live in poverty my homies.

Xanax: Stay anxious you poor bastards.

Church of Christ: Talk to the devil, he gets lonely too.

Hawaiian Vacations: Salmon fishing in Alaska doesn't sound half bad right now!

Los Angeles Dog Rescue: Adopt a cat, they're less of a pain in the ass than dogs.

N.Y. Men's Gay Rights Organization: Put that thing back in your pants and give women one more chance.

Communication Breakdown - The new math

It's conversations like this that could help make me the poster boy for anti-anxiety medications one day.

Upon my visit to the hospital to see my father earlier today, the staff moved him to another room in another "building." You'll see why I put the word building in quotes after you read the exchange between the security guard and me.

Me: Can you tell me where they moved my father?

Him: Security Guard: Yes, he's in room 5562. It's in the other building, the north tower, between the west and east towers. You're in the east tower now.

Me: I didn't realize there was a third building. How do I get there?

Him: We only have two buildings sir. You're in the east tower. It's the building between the west and east.

Me: West, east and north - that would make three buildings. Anyway, how do I get there?

Him: No sir, we only have an east and west tower.

Me: Ok, east and west - that's two. You said he's in the north, the third building, can you just tell me how to find him?

Pause: The valet guy overhears this. He's squinting his eyes and scratching his head as if he hears someone saying that 1+1+1=2. Me? I'm feeling like I just asked this guy how to get to the floor 7 1/2 at LesterCorp.
(See: "Being John Malkovich")

Him: Go down the hallway, follow the signs that say "West Tower" - when you see the elevator, take it to the 2nd floor.

Me: Great, and that's the north tower? (Asking again because I need closure!)

Him: Yes.

Me: Same building as the east tower? (Am I a glutton for punishment?)

Him: No sir, it's the north tower.

Me: Same building as the west tower? (I had to ask. Wouldn't you?)

Him: Sir, it's the NORTH tower.

Me: (Deep sigh) Thanks for the directions. I just need to know (God, please kill me right now)...I know there's an east tower and a west tower. You're saying that there's another separate building that is called the north tower?

Him: Yes, the north tower between the east and west.

Me: Uh-huh. Ok. So if I fly a helicopter over this hospital, I'll find that the north tower is one of three buildings that makes up this entire hospital complex? (Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?!)

Him: Probably. Yeah, you might.

Me: I might. (Feeling defeated). Thanks. (Why do I feel so drained?)

Photos - Doheny Blues Festival 2008

Yesterday was a beautiful day to be at the beach in Dana Point, California. Even better than that was to be playing at the Doheny Blues Festival with my friends. We performed with Shawn Jones Band on the main stage opening up for Joe Bonamassa, Little Feat and the headliner, Bonnie Raitt. The crowd was awesome; the band was tight, all in all a great gig and a great day!

Band members:
Shawn Jones - Guitar/Vocals
Jaymes Felix - Bass Guitar
Larry Mitchell - Drums
Armen Chakmakian - Hammond Organ

Doheny Blues Festival
May 18, 2008

Dana Point, California